Updated: Aug 12, 2020
Since my last post I have experienced a complete wavering from feeling confident and grounded in my being. After my post, my lover shared with me that he met a new lover. (We are in an open relationship.) He connected with her in a way that nurtures his love and passion for writing and singing musical harmonies, something that he and I do not currently co-create together. I was happy he was able to nurture that part of his soul, I shared his joy for fulfilling that need in his life. Although I knew this was a need I could not at this time meet for him, I had this deep sadness, a sense of loss, I felt small and incapable. I felt like it was a brake and not a bridge of love. I had to deeply love myself through the realization of my conditioning of the need to fulfill every need my partner has. There is no way that one person could fulfill every need we have as humans. That is why we have different kinds of relationships, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, best friends, acquaintances, neighbors, business partnerships, creative partnerships, tribal relations, etc. Each relation fulfills a different need we have for our personal flourishment. Each relation is a personal messenger for your growth and realization of Self in order to fulfill your purpose and passions in life.
By the grace of Godself and the love from my lover and his new lover, I was able to return to love Myself and all that I Am. Instead of comparing myself to other, I came to love myself as other and in doing that, seeing my lover receive love from another, brings me joy of the most high. Our joy can be shared and even doubled by doing so. Also this brings me a sense of release of any unconscious responsibility of feeling like it is up to me to fulfill all of my lovers needs. Fewf!
There has definitely been a recalibration of our energetic exchange. I noticed some chords (possibly unconscious codependent ones) cut, while our appreciation for our unique relationship grows stronger.
After this experience, Saturday we hosted an Awesome TEMPLE! It felt so good to connect with our tribe and come back to love after this testing recalibration. The event was so well received that the biggest request was for the event to be longer, or even take place as a retreat! Wow! I Am Soul Full of Love! It brings me so much joy to share our gifts for our tribe to connect more deeply and authentically with themselves and each other.
This is my Passion! This is my Life!
Then, Sunday four of us went on a road trip to Ichetucknee Springs in order to connect with Earth and some medicinal psychotropic allies. It was a great way to celebrate life, especially after TEMPLE. We set our personal and collective intentions and simply let go of any attachments to the outcome, allowing the medicine to reveal to us whatever we needed most to continue our life's Love. I felt this inception of Earth healing energy move through me. I felt like by me loving and honoring each persons gifts and points of awareness and by sharing my own gifts that we could come into harmony on Earth. The entire experience really cannot be put into words but I can share some of the lesson I took back with me to share:
I have come to change my language regarding the phrase "My Life's Work" to "My Life's Love". The reason for that is, I believe our entire experience is a lesson for each and every one of us to return to the Love of All that we Are. By each and every one of us coming to unconditional love, we can live and thrive without depleting our resources in order to restore our symbiotic relationship with all living things.
I See You and Your Gifts! I Honor Your Point of Awareness. I Respect Your Boundaries. I Love You So Much! Are You Ready?!? I Am Totally Prepared for This! If you have any questions about TEMPLE or anything else, write me.
It's my pleasure to share. firstname.lastname@example.org